The second is quite different, tougher, but deeper. This is the mode of learning overdrive that I currently reside. Experiential learning. If I can be completely honest, I learn the most sometimes through my struggles. These have been the times when my actions in the world change, but not before they are exhausted. My prayer life is always thankful, but recently has been of my frustration. I have long ago come to the realization that God knows my heart and what I am really thinking, so why not be completely transparent, blunt, and honest with him in my personal prayers.
A few posts ago, I described a horrible event that occurred within our youth at our church. A young boy, deeply hurt, but struggling to survive. Jesus told his disciples to go and heal in his name, he gave us this power as His agents of restoration here on the earth. We prayed so fervently for Zach, for complete restoration and healing. I know he is now completely restored and healed, but what of our prayers? Our cries for his physical healing? I have struggled understanding the effectiveness of my prayers in recent weeks. I still don't know if I have all the answers to these questions but it has led me into an in-depth pursuit of our (Christians) purposes in the world.
I, admittedly, have a lot to learn but I am sure as you can relate, the closer we dive into Christ the more we realize that we are woefully inept in our knowledge and understanding. I have found myself here lately, burnt up and flat. I feel as if the Lord has taken me and my prideful heart and has tackled me back down to earth. I am more and more aware of my need for the Savior and my reliance on my Savior for all things.
In another way, I am struggling with the process of waiting on the Lord and hearing direction from him. Honestly, I think He is teaching me patience before he gives me His direction, but I have a microwave mentality and he has me in the slow-cooker. This is not fun. It is frustrating. I need to learn how to perservere and, unfortunatly, I think the Lord knows that. Pray that my inward peace will overcome my restless heart.
The Lord gave me Habbakuk 2: 1-3 and it took me a while to get my mind to penetrate the passage but when it did I was undone.
Then the Lord replied: "Wright down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. "
Whoa. I was struck. As I recounted the first part, I realized that the Lord was telling Habbakuk when you hear from me dont waver, right it down permanantly on a tablet so that everyone can know what I have told you. I need to be confident in what the Lord has called me to and be steadfast enough to let others know what has been revealed. Honestly, that is hard to do. It doesnt give you an out. You can't back out of what God calls you to if you tell others what God has said to you. I keep telling myself,Chris be bold, don't waver.
Second, the Lord says that His promise has a pre-destined time, set aside, fully prepared for me. There is no accident, no second guessing, it is there already in God's timeline. Though I can't see it, God says wait for it. God even says that it will linger! how much more transparent is that? He promises that His revelation will come and will not delay the inspired second of time that God has designed for it.
It is in this time that I have become bombarded with questions for God, Im stripped of my "qualifications" (Phil 3:4) and lie ready for God to show up. It seems as if I get questions and frustrations quickly and God has been giving peace and answers in a timing that allows me to soak in every truth. I know this benefits me the most, but I just want to jump back in the microwave. 30 seconds on high, thank you very much.
No comments:
Post a Comment