Transparency

I feel as if I am currently in learning overdrive in my relationship with God. Have you ever experienced this? In my experiences, I have grown and heard from the Lord in two very different ways. The first comes from some insight I have gained into the character and attributes of God. In these times I have become excited and it is often hard to keep me away from any study of such topics until I have exhausted myself diving so deep into such things. Along the way everyone I know hears about my keen insights into who God really is and my invigorated relationship with Him. Its an excitement and an effervesence bubbling over.

The second is quite different, tougher, but deeper. This is the mode of learning overdrive that I currently reside. Experiential learning. If I can be completely honest, I learn the most sometimes through my struggles. These have been the times when my actions in the world change, but not before they are exhausted. My prayer life is always thankful, but recently has been of my frustration. I have long ago come to the realization that God knows my heart and what I am really thinking, so why not be completely transparent, blunt, and honest with him in my personal prayers.

A few posts ago, I described a horrible event that occurred within our youth at our church. A young boy, deeply hurt, but struggling to survive. Jesus told his disciples to go and heal in his name, he gave us this power as His agents of restoration here on the earth. We prayed so fervently for Zach, for complete restoration and healing. I know he is now completely restored and healed, but what of our prayers? Our cries for his physical healing? I have struggled understanding the effectiveness of my prayers in recent weeks. I still don't know if I have all the answers to these questions but it has led me into an in-depth pursuit of our (Christians) purposes in the world.

I, admittedly, have a lot to learn but I am sure as you can relate, the closer we dive into Christ the more we realize that we are woefully inept in our knowledge and understanding. I have found myself here lately, burnt up and flat. I feel as if the Lord has taken me and my prideful heart and has tackled me back down to earth. I am more and more aware of my need for the Savior and my reliance on my Savior for all things.

In another way, I am struggling with the process of waiting on the Lord and hearing direction from him. Honestly, I think He is teaching me patience before he gives me His direction, but I have a microwave mentality and he has me in the slow-cooker. This is not fun. It is frustrating. I need to learn how to perservere and, unfortunatly, I think the Lord knows that. Pray that my inward peace will overcome my restless heart.

The Lord gave me Habbakuk 2: 1-3 and it took me a while to get my mind to penetrate the passage but when it did I was undone.

Then the Lord replied: "Wright down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. "

Whoa. I was struck. As I recounted the first part, I realized that the Lord was telling Habbakuk when you hear from me dont waver, right it down permanantly on a tablet so that everyone can know what I have told you. I need to be confident in what the Lord has called me to and be steadfast enough to let others know what has been revealed. Honestly, that is hard to do. It doesnt give you an out. You can't back out of what God calls you to if you tell others what God has said to you. I keep telling myself,Chris be bold, don't waver.

Second, the Lord says that His promise has a pre-destined time, set aside, fully prepared for me. There is no accident, no second guessing, it is there already in God's timeline. Though I can't see it, God says wait for it. God even says that it will linger! how much more transparent is that? He promises that His revelation will come and will not delay the inspired second of time that God has designed for it.

It is in this time that I have become bombarded with questions for God, Im stripped of my "qualifications" (Phil 3:4) and lie ready for God to show up. It seems as if I get questions and frustrations quickly and God has been giving peace and answers in a timing that allows me to soak in every truth. I know this benefits me the most, but I just want to jump back in the microwave. 30 seconds on high, thank you very much.

Pumpkin patch

A few weeks ago Bridget and I went down to GA to visit the family and just "hang out" for a while. We always have a blast when we get to drive down and see Bridgets side of the family. We had a really fun time this past trip in particular. We were able to do some relaxing and some yard sale shopping in which we always get stuff we think is kinda cool but rarely need. Most of all, we all went to a pumpkin patch in the depths of GA (seriously, we drove forever). When we got there I quickly realized that this was a BIG DEAL to the people in the town. It was like $15 bucks per person to get in the place but when I left I realized that it was worth every dollar.

First of all, the day would'nt have been nearly as much fun if it werent for my 3 yr old niece Sophia. She gets more and more cute every time I see her. When we got there there was a cow train made with 50 gallon drums cut out into buggies, painted like cows, with wheels and they were pulled by a tractor. She loved it. I think her favorite part of the day was seeing all the farm animals. She got really excited about feeding a cow. She would run over to a hay bale and pull out a handful and feed it to the cow. The best part was when she looked away and the cow took a big lick to her hair! Take a look at the pic, I laughed so hard.

Let me give you a run down of all the stuff they had there: high pressure corn cannons (AWESOME), a huge corn maze, pumpkin patch, a shed full of corn kernels that kids (and Chris) loved to play in, farm animals, big slides, hayrides, and a pig race. More fun than a farm kid can have on any given day.

I ended up getting a couple little tiny pumpkins to take home for our porch and a whole lot of corn kernals in my pants. What a day. Afterwards, we went and ate dinner at Truett's Diner. If you do not have an extensive knowledge of all things Chic-fil-A, then you might not know that Truett Cathy is the founder of Chick-fil-A restaurants and one of the things he loves is classic cars. This diner was cool. For food, it had a glorified Chick-fil-A menu but it had a 50's diner feel to it. I got the chick'n pot pie. bad idea. for some reason it didnt sit right with me. I should have stuck with the classic chicken sandwich. mmmm.

I can't wait till the next adventure in the peach state, but one thing is for certain...#1 with waffle fries, please.

Black Thursday

It has been a tough few days. We thought Zachary was going to pull out of his injuries and make his way on the road to recovery. We found out that he passed away yesterday. His funeral will be tomorrow. The youth at the church have been pretty broken up about losing their friend. I am too. I have been praying so hard for Zachary lately that I have just taken a spirit of frustration over the loss. The Lord opened my eyes to a passage of scripture in 2 Samuel yesterday that was a real encouragement to me. David was told by the prophet Nathan that because of his sin, his child would die. David prayed, fasted, and mourned for 7 days that the child would be spared. The Lord chose to allow the child to die and David washed himself and praised the Lord for his goodness.

I dont understand the things the Lord does at times, but He is good. Just like David I will praise Him regardless of His decision.

Two Rivers Fall Camp 2008

It was a pretty busy week last week. I was asked to do program for the youth camp the church was going to. This is typically not an issue except for the fact that we only had a week to prepare 4 skits that would all tie together and would carry a story line. Needless to say I was writing scripts late into the night quite often. After they were written and we had a few practice sessions, we went to shoot some of the videos for the production. I was excited about what the weekend had in store.

Myself and Jon Hatton, our youth intern, were doing program together this past weekend. We were Steady Eddie and Fast Freddie and we were salesmen representing the LSGA or the Local Safety Association. (The G is silent). After work on friday afternoon, I booked it to Ocoee, TN to arrive about an hour and a half before camp arrived. In that time we had a whole lot of set-up to do that we did not get to run through our lines even once before the skit. Well...we bombed. At least I thought we did. None of the lines were in order and video/sound ect. just didnt work on cue, but the kids seemed to love it and they thought we were funny nonetheless. Clay (music guy) did such an awesome job at music this weekend and Jon Teague (former middle school pastor) did such a great job speaking about the worries we bring with us everywhere. I went to bed half frustrated and half excited about where this weekend was heading.

We woke up on saturday morning intent to run through our skit lines multiple times and to give it to the Lord before even walking in front of anyone. Well, it went off without a hitch. They loved it, I thought we did a great job and it was funny! the skit was back on track ready to take over the weekend. Music was awesome as well as message Sat. morning. I had just had some great alone time with the Lord and we were about to begin prep for Sat. night when the weekend took a 90 degree turn.

As Jon and I were preparing in the club room, a leader ran in with a terrified look on her face. She told us that one of the kids was hurt and we needed to come right away and dial 911. Jon grabbed his phone any I took off sprinting to the zip line course. I arrived at the scene to see one of our students unconcious in his zip line harness. I found all the male leaders that were there trying to pull a large platform from an embankment where it had fallen. We finally got it to the top and after noticing it was splintered and broken in places, we had no choice but to set it up and try to hold it together while others un-clipped him and brought him to the ground. It was a grotesque scene. I unclipped the stretcher while others tried to lay the child as still as possible. his breathing was harsh and choppy. I could tell there were broken bones and a severe head injury. Before we knew it, he was air lifted away, but there was much more broken at the camp than the child.

I saw the staff operator shaking and crying. I saw the young boys sister broken and scared. I saw his friends look as if they lost their best friend. Camp leaders burdened by the pressure of knowing what to do in a situation like this. I saw students battling the images of the scene. A light hearted fun camp had been brought to its knees.

After a moment of confusion, we were all gathered in the club room where we all broke up into groups and begin to pray for our friend. It was powerful. Kids that would never pray aloud were freed to pray. I saw the heartfelt cries to the Lord. I participated in them. There was a time when the students were given the opportunity to come to the front and read a passage of scripture that they either remember or looked for. That was neat to see. There was no more skits, it just wasnt appropriate. Our characters were safety fanatics trying to save camp from their exaggerated unsafe ways. Ironic huh? We nixed that real quick.

This weekend was exhausing. I dont know if I have ever prayed as hard, for as long as I have this past weekend. I am expecting the Lord to do some pretty extraordinary things. Pray for Zach Wimer, his family, and everyone involved. Now, if you'll excuse me I think I am going to try and take a breath.